Available now at the official Barack Obama store:
He survives. For now.
Let its last meal bear the name of its devourer.
When you grab it by this, it knows there is no escape.
Nothing tenderizes the flesh quite like abject humiliation.
Accurate food labeling is important.
Update: I almost forgot the most important one. How will you lead it to its doom without this?
Barack’s best friend: a full stomach.