TheDC Morning: Just a reminder that we are all Victims now

Will Rahn Senior Editor
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1.) Obama’s very bold, totally non-binding flip-flop — As everyone knows by now, President Barack Obama has courageously re-committed to a position he held 16 years ago now that polls show most Americans are also OK with it. TheDC’s Neil Munro reports:

“President Barack Obama has announced that he supports same-sex marriages, following several months of increased gay pressure on Obama in the run-up to the 2012 election. His statement is a political advance for gay advocates, but it does not commit Obama to seek a federal override of state laws that define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”

History has shown Obama can fix things just by talking about them, which is a good thing considering how lousy he often is at the actual business of governing. Remember when he said he was going to shut down Guantanamo and then it just magically shut down on its own because he talked about it? (Also, remember when the left and the media cared about shutting down Guantanamo?) This totally non-binding statement is absolutely comparable to LBJ forcing through the 1964 Civil Rights Act, or at least it would be if the 1964 Civil Rights Act was a symbolic gesture that didn’t actually change any laws but did get LBJ out of trouble with his donor base.

2.) Just a reminder that we are all Victims now – Congratulations, people with shy bladders! You are now officially Victims, the most exalted class in American society, and will soon receive the federal protection you so richly deserve. TheDC’s Taylor Bigler reports:

“It could cost U.S. employers between $2 billion and $4 billion to comply with an obscure Americans with Disabilities Act regulation meant to protect workers who are gun-shy in public restrooms. According to an informal discussion letter the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued in August 2011, ‘paruresis’ — more commonly known as ‘shy bladder syndrome’ — qualifies as a disability under the amended Americans with Disabilities Act. The International Paruresis Association defines the odd affliction as the ‘inability to urinate with others present.’ The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the gold-standard of psychiatrists, categorizes it as a social phobia that affects roughly seven percent of the population — approximately 17 million Americans.”

We like to have fun here at TheDC Morning, but there’s nothing funny about this story. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, International Paruesis Association, in this noble struggle.

3.) Will “no preference” be our next president? – Turns out Texas inmate Keith Judd isn’t the only person causing problems for Barack Obama in this week’s Democratic primaries. TheDC’s Steven Nelson reports:

“Tuesday was primary day in North Carolina, and although President Barack Obama faced no competition on the Democratic ballot, he was not the choice of approximately 20 percent of Democrats who cast ballots. With all 100 counties reporting, Obama secured 79.2 percent of the Democratic primary vote and ‘no preference’ registered at 20.8 percent, according to preliminary results posted on the website of the North Carolina State Board of Elections.”

‘No preference’ 2012: In your heart, you know he/she/it is right.

4.) Human moments in the War on Women – Homeland Security czarina Janet Napolitano took time off from running her massive and often terrifying government bureaucracy to have a few laughs with the liberal Center for American Progress. TheDC’s Caroline May reports:

“The agency chief showed her feminine side to the friendly audience gathered offering details of her past political experiences, including an anecdote about the lengthy amount of time it took her 2002 Republican Arizona gubernatorial opponent, Matt Salmon, to concede as the state counted mail-in ballots — during which time she enjoyed a spa weekend…’I was in one of these really deep REM type sleeps and it’s totally dark and the phone rings. And this gentleman’s voice is on the other end and it says, ‘Good morning governor, this is your wake up call.’ And that’s how I knew he was getting ready to concede. And of course I had the very polite and official response: ‘Oh shit!’”

5.) Poll of the day – An Associated Press/GfK poll shows support for the war in Afghanistan has reached a new low: 66 percent of Americans now say they oppose the war, while only 27 percent say they support it.

6.) Tweet of yesterday — @katherinemiller: Is there a game show we can make out of W.V. Democratic primary voters picking between the president and a random name?

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