Daily Caller readers may remember that in mid-January we endorsed Mitt Romney for president. To level the playing field and ensure that America gets to enjoy more “Joltin’ Joe,” we encourage Romney to pick Biden for VP.
In this time of economic turmoil, wouldn’t it be comforting to know that regardless of whether Romney or Obama wins in 2012, we will have a VP who is sure to amuse?
Would Marco Rubio entertain us with: “I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you”?
Would Chris Christie tell a state senator in a wheelchair: “Stand up, Chuck, let ’em see ya”?
Would Susana Martinez dazzle us with: “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong”?
The Obama administration clearly knows Biden is an unserious VP. Joe “don’t think, just talk” Biden is routinely excluded from important meetings and Obama makes fun of him all the time, often downplaying his incompetence by covering it with humor in the vein of: “Well, that’s just Joe. He’s like the loveable crazy uncle in the attic.”
Why did Obama pick Biden in the first place? Well, when Russia stomped on Georgia in the summer of 2008, Obama panicked because he knew that he couldn’t measure up to John McCain on foreign affairs. So he picked a VP he didn’t like but who he knew the media would hail as a senior statesman. Sure enough, the lap dog media complied, and the rest is (sad) history.
One thing we’ve learned from our experiences with tech startups is that you can turn the worst “bugs” in a software product into “features” in the next release. So too with Biden!
The Daily Caller recently quoted Senator McCain as saying, “The reality is that this vice president has been wrong on every major issue for the last 20 years.” McCain continued: “He’s the one that said Desert Storm — remember Desert Storm? — was going to be another Vietnam. He’s that one that said the surge wouldn’t work. He’s the one that said he wanted to divide Iraq into three different countries.”
In the stock market, it is as valuable to be always wrong as always right. Biden will have immense value to Romney — just do the opposite of what Biden says!
And think of the VP debate. Biden could debate himself. “Well, I don’t know Joe, that’s not what you said yesterday. … Thanks, Joe, but my views are evolving.”
Here’s to four more years of Joltin’ Joe.
Charles Curran and Patrick Ennis have spent over 35 combined years as technology investors and innovators. They live in Washington, D.C. and Washington State, respectively. Follow Charles on Twitter at @charlescurranDC. Follow Patrick on Twitter at @pjennis.