DC Trawler

The Bible says it’s okay to steal from Chick-fil-A or something

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Yesterday I told you about Real American Hero Amsmith77Amsmith and his noble quest to humiliate a Chick-fil-A drivethrough clerk. You might’ve wondered why this world-class tough guy was so eager to get a free cup of water from them. “Free water, free water.” He couldn’t stop saying it. He was so stoked about getting his free water.

Now we know why free water from Chick-fil-A is so important, courtesy of a young lady named Jackson Pearce. She posted this to YouTube last week, and it has over 600,000 views:

Sorry to do that to you. If you couldn’t withstand a full 5 minutes of her voice, you can skip to the 4:30 mark. Here’s her brilliant argument:

There’s this Bible passage, Proverbs 25:21: “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.” So if you are not a fan of Chick-fil-A’s stance on hate, on August 1st I suggest you go there and ask for a large water. If they say that you need to order something, cite Proverbs 25:21. I mean, technically, if they’re operating on “Biblical principles,” they should give you an entire combo meal if your stomach growls, but let’s keep it simple. Just ask for a large water and nothing else. If they give it to you, then you just got a few pennies of their profit and less money goes to their hate foundations. And if they don’t, then I guess they’re not even operating under their perverted version of “Biblical.”

If you do this, by the way, please videotape it and load it to YouTube, and I’ll put it as a response in this video…

So, presumably, Real American Hero Amsmith77Amsmith was following Ms. Pearce’s instructions when he taped his instant classic.

I looked up Proverbs 25:21, and Pearce does quote it accurately. Of course, the verse says “if your enemy is thirsty,” not “if your enemy is smugly and self-righteously trying to score a political point by cadging freebies from you.” But hey, same difference, right?

As long as we’re throwing Bible verses in people’s faces, why don’t we look at Proverbs 25:22 as well? Just for kicks.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
    and the Lord will reward you.

Huh. Okay, so if this is Ms. Pearce’s justification for demanding free stuff from Chick-fil-A, and if we’re to take it as literally as she’s suggesting, then she’s admitting that they just heaped burning coals on her head. Or, if not actual burning coals, at least a burning sense of shame that her enemy is kinder and more forgiving than she is. And God thinks she deserves it.

That certainly doesn’t sound like fun, getting hot coals dumped over your head. Even if they’re just metaphorical hot coals of shame. Doesn’t sound like a big win.

Or maybe it is, I’ve never tried it. How about a challenge to Chick-fil-A’s critics: Why not heap some actual burning coals on your head and see if it feels like victory? That’ll show those Bible-thumpers.

And be sure to send the video to Jackson Pearce.

(Hat tip: Allison Renoos Hutchings)