DC Trawler

Vladimir Putin is scared of girls

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A Russian all-female punk band just got sentenced to two years in prison for protesting Putin. Sorry about the name of the band in this BBC News story, but it’s integral to the story:

Three members of Russian punk band Pussy Riot have been jailed for two years after staging an anti-Vladimir Putin protest in a Moscow cathedral.

Judge Marina Syrova convicted the women of hooliganism motivated by religious hatred, saying they had “crudely undermined social order”…

Their brief, obscenity-laced performance, which implored the Virgin Mary to “throw Putin out”, enraged the Orthodox Church – its leader Patriarch Kirill said it amounted to blasphemy.

Mr Putin was elected for a third term as president two weeks later.

Their crime is blasphemy, alright. Against Putin.

So the big, rugged, frying-pan-bending, “check me out, ladies, with no shirt and 27% body fat,” enemy-assassinating, world-class tough guy is scared of a few girls with guitars? Pussy Riot, meet Pussy Who Should Diet.

Nice baloney-boobs, Gramps.

Glenn Reynolds called this one:

I recommend that artists and musicians around the world make Putin-mockery a recurring theme. Suggestions that he has a small penis would be a bonus. Denouncing him as a big, scary dictator will make him happy. Saying that he’s scared of girls, not so much. And, you know, he obviously is.

Just one quibble: Small penis? Why are we assuming Putin even has one?

Here’s the performance that landed the young ladies in jail:

Well, you know, I’m no music critic. The point is: Vladimir Putin is a genitally underwhelming coward who can’t handle being laughed at by women.

Go ahead, ladies. Laugh at him. What’s he gonna do, throw you all in jail?