DC Trawler

Cure for drinking vodka until you go blind: whisky

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The holiday season is right around the corner, and you know what that means: drinking until you cannot see. Fortunately, we know how to cure it, thanks to the most important country on Earth.

The New Zealand Herald:

Alcohol doesn’t tend to make you see more clearly, but in Denis Duthie’s case a bottle of whisky literally saved his sight.

The 65-year-old Taranaki man suddenly went blind when vodka he had been drinking reacted with his diabetes medication. He regained his sight only after hospital staff administered expensive whisky…

The surgeon later told him a strong smell like nail polish remover had come out of the incision in his stomach…

The doctor thought he might have formaldehyde poisoning, which is associated with ingesting methanol and can be treated by administering ethanol – the type of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages.

There wasn’t enough medical ethanol available in the hospital, so the registrar nipped down to the local bottle store and picked up a bottle of whisky.

“Johnnie Walker Black Label. It was good whisky, yeah.”

They dripped that stuff right into the dude’s stomach through a tube, which kind of takes the fun out of it. But it worked, and now he can see again.

The doctors think the guy’s diabetes medication reacted with the homemade vodka he was drinking, so it’s clear what he needs to do. He needs to knock it off with all that diabetes medication. You gotta think about your health, people.

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Jim Treacher