Condom Ambulance delivers contraceptives right to your dorm room door

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Thanks to the entrepreneurial genius of sophomore Kyle McCabe, students at The College of New Jersey will be able to enjoy safe sex anywhere on campus — provided they have text messaging (what college student doesn’t?) or Internet access and can wait about five minutes during weekend express hours.

Condom Ambulance delivers “competitively priced condoms at lightning fast speeds.” Once an order is placed, McCabe or someone in his employ will appear right at your door with condoms, according to the venture’s website.

While the service is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, express service is available between 7 p.m. and 3 a.m. Friday through Sunday. During those hours, Condom Ambulance promises to resolve condom emergencies in “about five minutes.”

Students who use the Condom Ambulance must fill out a fairly elaborate form at some point specifying their physical address, payment method (cash, credit or debit) and their intended purchases.

Currently, a single lubricated Trojan Enz condom — which the iconic brand calls its “classic trusted condom” — costs $3 through Condom Ambulance, including delivery. Students can buy in bulk and save, though. The price for three lubricated Trojan Enz condoms is $7. The price for 10 is $15.

Trojan Ribbed and Trojan Magnum condoms are coming soon, according to the website.

Condom recipients must also sign a pretty elaborate liability waiver, notes The Signal, the weekly rag on campus. Among much else, the waiver protects McCabe and Condom Ambulance from liability for pregnancy and disease. Purchasers also agree that they have the consent of their partners for sex.

In October, vandals allegedly tore down posters advertising Condom Ambulance. McCabe believes the culprits are unidentified pro-life advocates.

“I’m pro-choice, but I’m not going to go around and tear down the pro-life posters,” McCabe told The Signal.

The College of New Jersey is a selective public liberal arts college in the suburban sprawl that runs between New York City and Philadelphia.

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Eric Owens