On the Senate floor Monday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid gave an ardent and heartfelt speech in honor of retiring Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson … and Nelson’s hair.
“One of the things we learn as little kids, and as we get older it’s something we also must adhere to, and that’s not to be envious. Envy isn’t something that is becoming of a human being, especially an adult,” Reid began. “But I think if the truth were known, many, many senators would be very envious, as I am, and I would even think the presiding officer, about that hair of Ben Nelson’s.”
“I mean, that is a mop of real hair,” Reid exclaimed.
“It’s often that people call his office, e-mail his office, they believe he has a toupee. It’s his hair! He’ll pull it for you any time just to show that it’s real. He has hair like a 15-year-old, Mr. President,” Reid added.
“And so, I have to acknowledge I am a little envious of his hair. And I think it’s the truth for now. My wife has said on many occasions she really likes — tells me all the time how handsome Pat Leahy is and so glad he doesn’t do a comb-over,” Reid concluded.
Other things we learned about the outgoing Nebraska senator from Reid’s floor speech: he once took Sen. Charles Schumer hunting for pheasants, and “everybody survived it alive” and Nelson “still boasts about that, that he was able to bring Schumer back all in one piece;” he is “an accomplished practical joker,” and, more excitingly, “a wonderful singer”.
At time of publication, Ben Nelson’s hair did not have its own Twitter feed, in the tradition of “Sean Hannity’s hair.” But the day is young.