Jessica Simpson is an evil genius

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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Ever since her reality series “Newlyweds,” Jessica Simpson has come off as this sort of stereotypical dumb blonde caricature. But she may just be an evil genius in dumb blonde’s clothing.

After the singer/ reality TV star/ cheap clothing designer gained a supposed 70-plus pounds when she was pregnant with her first child, Weight Watchers reportedly offered her a $4 million contract to lose all the extra baby weight by using and shilling for their weight-loss program. (That figure has been widely reported but never confirmed by Weight Watchers or Simpson.)

Jessica Simpson in November 2011

According to lots of reputable publications such as Us Weekly, the contract supposedly kicked in about two months after she gave birth to daughter Maxwell in May of 2012. She was photographed hitting the gym and filmed two Weight Watchers commercials that showed off her gradual weight loss. (The contract was allegedly very strict: It required her to lose at least two pounds per week and film several commercials until the 70 pounds was gone.)

But last month, Us reported that Simpson was pregnant with her second child with her fiancee, just seven months after giving birth and about five months after starting Weight Watchers. Pure. Genius.

For the past month, Simpson has been photographed in baggy clothing and doing the tell-tale coy, pregnant celebrity pose of holding a giant handbag in front of her stomach.

Finally on Christmas Day, Simpson confirmed her pregnancy by tweeting an adorable photo of her daughter sitting on the beach with the words “BIG SIS” written in the sand. (A much more respectable way of announcing a pregnancy than selling your story to Ok! Magazine — cough, Kourtney Kardashian, cough.)

Essentially, Simpson stuck to a crappy Weight Watchers diet for five months, then got knocked up again. It’s the perfect plan, you know why? Because firing a person for being pregnant is illegal! You can’t fire someone for being pregnant!

ABC News reported Wednesday that Simpson will not continue the weight loss plan while pregnant.

“There have been no changes to our business agreement with Jessica,” a rep for Weight Watchers told ABCNews.com. “Jessica’s successful weight loss prior to becoming pregnant will be featured in Weight Watchers’ new ‘Expect Amazing’ advertising campaign, including a spot with her sharing the happy news.”

Ha! Joke’s on you, Weight Watchers and your stupid carrot sticks. Simpson is $4 million richer and can go back to eating chips and queso, you suckers. Where can we sign up for her Evil Genius Master Class?

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