DC Trawler

Piers Morgan: gun nut?

Font Size:

If Piers Morgan thought that America was going to rally behind a British guy calling to limit their liberty, obviously he’s not a student of history. Despite all his gun-grabbing nonsense, his ratings are still pathetic. Just look at Wednesday’s numbers:

Take that, Dr. Drew! Poor Piers is actually bragging that he gets better ratings than anyone else at CNN, which is a bit like being the most physically attractive member of Code Pink. He might be doing better if it was still 1980 and there were no other cable news channels. But probably not.

As it turns out, Piers wasn’t always so anti-gun. Charles C. Johnson (no relation) reports:

CNN host and outspoken gun-control advocate Piers Morgan once joked about shooting professional enemies and separately wrote that he was a “rabid fascist” who wanted burglars tortured after a “decent period of cattle-prodding, testicle electrode treatment, and slow gentle skewering over hot coals.”

Morgan’s comments came in an interview with England’s Daily Mail newspaper. They concerned his dismissal as editor of the Daily Mirror, a rival British tabloid, after he was fired for publishing fake photos supposedly showing British soldiers abusing Iraqi prisoners…

In 2004 Morgan penned an op-ed for the Evening Standard headlined “I can’t be liberal on burglars,” in which he said he said a series of home invasions and robberies at his home made him wish for a gun. Britain, which had banned all guns, had seen a rash of break-in burglaries, one of which took the life of financier John Monckton.

If Monckton “had killed one of those burglars while defending himself … then he would now be facing a jail sentence for manslaughter or even murder,” Morgan wrote. “No part of my liberalism allows me to deem this fair…”

Gun Owners of America executive director Larry Pratt made a similar point on Morgan’s CNN show on December 19, saying tighter controls on firearms would not end gun violence in the United States.

“The problem occurs in those areas precisely where we have said ‘no guns,” Pratt said. “Where the guns are allowed freely to be carried … we have very low murder rates. … We only have problems in our cities and, unhappily, in our schools, where people like you have been able to get laws put on the books that keep people from being able to defend themselves.”

Morgan called Pratt a “very stupid man” with “absolutely no coherent argument.”

So, at one point Piers Morgan did realize the price of disarming law-abiding citizens, and he did understand the need for self-defense. Maybe he’ll relearn that lesson, once he realizes he’s not doing his ratings any favors by continuing to blame good people for the actions of bad people. But probably not.

You should read the whole thing. It’s highly amusing.

In closing, here’s my reaction to the aforementioned London burglary spree. From my old blog, on Dec. 10, 2004:

Things to Do in London When You’re Defenceless

I live in the United States of America, where if somebody breaks into your home and threatens you and your loved ones, you’re allowed to use any amount of force necessary to defend yourself, up to and including nuclear weaponry. In England, it’s different. As if it’s not bad enough just to have to live there, the victim of a burglary can’t do a thing to stand up for himself. If some “bloke” breaks into your “flat” and you give him so much as a “dry slap,” you get life in “gaol” and he’s allowed to stop by once a week to make you his “luv.”

But there’s still hope for you poor sunless bastards. Here’s some advice for the burgled, from a Dr. Ian Stephen (not to be confused with Dr. Stephen Ian, if such a person exists, which is likely because they all have names like that):

“In most cases the best form of defence [This is how they spell it. — ed.] is always avoidance. If this isn’t possible, act passively, be careful what you say or do, and give up valuables without a struggle. This allows the victim to take charge of the situation, without the intruder’s awareness, through subtle and non-confrontational means.”

Makes sense to me. Here’s some other good advice to remember, “mates,” the next time you want to take control of a housejacking:

  • Hit the intruder’s fists, knees, elbows, and feet with your face, ribcage, and genitals. This will subtly wear him down and require him to stop for a glass of water.
  • On a related note, robbery is thirsty work, and a parched burglar is an angry burglar. If all you’ve got is tap water, you’re just asking for trouble. Try to keep a wide selection of beverages on hand at all times, just in case. This will subtly lull your new friend into a false sense of comfort and good cheer, giving you the chance to crawl out of the room for a change of underwear before the smell requires him to punish you further.
  • Refer to the home-invader as “massuh.” This will impose a subtle feeling of guilt on the misguided victim of society, causing him to pause briefly for self-reflection in the course of upending your laundry room for hidden jewelry or drugs. In another 30-60 years, he will die of natural causes and cease all criminal activity.
  • Many wealth-redistributors are atheist or agnostic, as is their right. Try to avoid offending your guest with thoughtless phrases such as “Please, God, help me,” “Oh Christ, I can’t feel my legs,” or “Jesus, Jesus, there’s so much blood.”
  • If at all possible, prevent the problem entirely by not living indoors. No home = No possibility of home invasion! Divest yourself of all personal possessions and take up a crimefree outdoor urban lifestyle.

See? It’s “easy-peasy.” So chin up, Clive! Er, well, you know what I mean.

P.S. Like the rest of America, I’ve met my Piers Morgan-viewing quota for 2013 already, but I’m told he really embarrassed himself during this interview with Dana Loesch and Scottie Hughes. Watch it if you can stand to listen to his voice for more than 30 seconds at a time:

Tags : treacher
Jim Treacher