DC Trawler

Toure thanks God for abortion

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If you don’t know who Toure is, you’re a racist. If you do know who Toure is, you’re a racist. According to Toure, you’re a racist until you can prove to his satisfaction that you’re not a racist, which you can’t do because you’re a racist.

Now that we have the introductions out of the way, here’s Toure’s latest gem, courtesy of The Blaze:

During MSNBC’s “The Cycle” on Friday, co-host Toure celebrated the 40th anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision to legalize abortion by telling the story of when he and an old girlfriend decided to have an abortion 15 years ago…

“I thank God and country that when I fell into a bad situation, abortion was there to save me and keep me on a path toward building a strong family I have now. And I pray that safety net stays in place,” Toure said.

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Did you catch that? He was in a “committed relationship” that he knew he wasn’t going to be committed to for much longer, and he “fell into a bad situation.” He just slipped and fell and it went in, and the next thing he knew, he was taking her to the clinic. Oh well.

But the important thing is that a life was saved. Toure’s life. Just imagine what it would’ve been like these past 15 years if he’d actually taken responsibility for his actions. Just think of all the important work he wouldn’t have been able to do if he’d had to raise a kid. Like, um… that is to say… er… Well, okay, but that’s not the point. The point is: He might be even less famous than he is now! What could be worse than that?

I weep to think of how much more Toure’s parents could’ve accomplished with their lives if they hadn’t been burdened with him.

Well done, Toure. Once again, President Barack Obama is right: America shouldn’t be punished with Toure’s baby.

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Jim Treacher