DC Trawler

Will the sequester affect the federally funded study of snail sex?

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As we learned last week, the government stewards of your tax dollars took the term “stimulus funds” quite literally, putting a few hundred thousand of them to good use studying duck penises. “Waddle” they think of next?

If there’s anything more important than mallard members, it’s figuring out why snails get nailed. As CNS News reports:

The National Science Foundation awarded a grant for $876,752 to the University of Iowa to study whether there is any benefit to sex among New Zealand mud snails and whether that explains why any organism has sex.

The study, first funded in 2011 and continuing until 2015, will study the New Zealand snails to see if it is better that they reproduce sexually or asexually – the snail can do both – hoping to gain insight on why so many organisms practice sexual reproduction.

“Sexual reproduction is more costly than asexual reproduction, yet nearly all organisms reproduce sexually at least some of the time. Why is sexual reproduction so common despite its costs,” the study’s abstract asks.

If you hafta ask…!

Of course it costs almost a million bucks to watch snails hump. Can we really afford not to?

The government doesn’t spend enough. Your taxes aren’t high enough. The state doesn’t have enough control over your life.

Or your snail’s.

(Hat tip: Jeff Dunetz)

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Jim Treacher