DC Trawler

Chicago teen tries to join al-Qaida, gets grounded

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There’s been a lot of talk about terrorism in the news lately, but one federal judge has found the cure: a good and proper scolding, followed by sending the naughty scamp off to bed without his supper.

Chicago Tribune:

In a highly unusual decision, a federal judge yesterday ordered a terrorism suspect released to home confinement while the Aurora teen awaits trial on charges that he signed up to fight in war-torn Syria for a terror group with ties to al-Qaida.

But the U.S. attorney’s office quickly moved to appeal the decision, putting a hold on the release of Abdella Ahmad Tounisi. Another judge will reconsider Tounisi’s bail this morning.

Federal prosecutors called Tounisi, 18, a flight risk and a danger to the community in asking that he remain in custody on charges that he provided material support to a terrorist organization. Tounisi has been in custody since his arrest April 19 at O’Hare International Airport.

Prosecutors allege that Tounisi posted messages on a phony website set up by the FBI agreeing to travel to Syria to fight with the Al-Nusra Front militant group. According to authorities, Tounisi has links to a second Chicago-area terrorism suspect, Adel Daoud, who was arrested in September after he tried to set off what he thought was a bomb outside a downtown bar. The two were close friends and plotted the bomb attack together, prosecutors allege, but Tounisi backed out when he suspected law enforcement was on to them.

In ordering Tounisi’s release, U.S. Magistrate Judge Daniel Martin repeatedly called the decision a “close, close” call but said that pretrial detention is intended to be an “exceptional step.” Martin also said he was convinced in part by a courtroom packed with family members and leaders from Tounisi’s religious community.

If you’re wondering which religious community that might be, the Tribune‘s story doesn’t specify. I’m assuming they’re Lutherans, right? The kid’s probably a teabagger. You know how violent those loonies can be. And this happened in April, which is when all the right-wing nuts celebrate Hitler’s birthday and Columbine and so forth.

Don’t think this Rethuglican punk is getting off easy, though. Judge Martin addressed the youngster in a “stern tone,” saying: “This is no game, Mr. Tounisi. The world is a very volatile place. … Right now you are hanging by a thread in this courtroom.”

Well, I think that about takes care of it. Another would-be terrorist turned from the path of wickedness! Young Mr. Tounisi won’t make that mistake again. Nor will any of his little Lutheran buddies who hear the tales of Judge Martin’s terrible wrath.

Buh-bye, terrorism! Nice try, though.

(Hat tip: Brad Thor)