Assault with a deadly pencil? At this point, why not? It’s even more lethal than a Pop Tart chewed into a shape vaguely resembling a gun. If we’re all gonna panic, let’s really panic.
A Suffolk school suspended a second grader for pointing a pencil at another student and making gun noises.
Seven-year-old Christopher Marshall says he was playing with another student in class Friday, when the teacher at Driver Elementary asked them to stop pointing pencils at each other.
“When I asked him about it, he said, ‘Well I was being a Marine and the other guy was being a bad guy,'” said Paul Marshall, the boy’s father. “It’s as simple as that.”
Christopher’s father was a Marine for many years. He thinks school leaders overreacted.
“A pencil is a weapon when it is pointed at someone in a threatening way and gun noises are made,” said Bethanne Bradshaw, a spokesperson for Suffolk Public Schools.
Let’s take another look at that statement:
“A pencil is a weapon when it is pointed at someone in a threatening way and gun noises are made.”
This is insane. By this standard, every single child born since the invention of firearms should’ve been locked up. The person who said this and the teacher who acted on it are idiots and should not be allowed near children.
Which is exactly why they are.