DC Trawler

Dennis Rodman thinks he deserves a Nobel Peace Prize

And why not? Now we know it’s possible to get nominated for one of those things before you’ve even done anything to earn it. (And then you get to keep it, even after you’ve turned it into a sick joke!) So, why shouldn’t Rodman win one for buddying up with a blood-soaked dictator?

The Hill:

Former NBA star Dennis Rodman said in a Sports Illustrated story published Tuesday that he believes he deserves to win a Nobel Peace Prize for his outreach efforts to North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.

“My mission is to break the ice between hostile countries,” Rodman told the magazine. “Why it’s been left to me to smooth things over, I don’t know. Dennis Rodman, of all people. Keeping us safe is really not my job; it’s the black guy’s [Obama’s] job. But I’ll tell you this: If I don’t finish in the top three for the next Nobel Peace Prize, something’s seriously wrong.”

Stop laughing, Nobel Committee. Just look at how peace-loving that tubby little tyrant has been ever since he made friends with The Worm:

“Fact is, he hasn’t bombed anywhere he’s threatened to yet,” Rodman said.

Okay, the “yet” isn’t really helping his case, but still. Facts are facts, people.

I don’t care what they say about you, Dennis. I choose to remember you at your best. I choose to remember…

Birds don’t fly planes, you say? THEY DO NOW.