DC Trawler

Why was #IfMyVaginaWasAGun trending on Twitter last night?

Font Size:

Ooooh! Over here! I know! I know!

From the Daily Texan‘s liveblog of the Texas Senate committee hearing on abortion legislation:

3:42 p.m. — Lawmakers continued to hear testimony as the afternoon waned away.

Testimony has included personal stories, tears, calls to religion and scientific statements.

Austinite Katie Heim was one of many to testify before the committee. Unlike the other testifiers, she read a poem she wrote, called “If My Vagina Was a Gun.” Read the full poem, below:

“If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights,
You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.
If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care,
You wouldn’t spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.
If my vaginas was a gun, you’d say what it holds is private
From cold dead hands we could pry, you surely would riot.
If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected,
no matter the body count or the children affected.
If my vagina was a gun, I could bypass security,
concealed carry laws would ensure I’d have impunity.
If my vagina was a gun, I wouldn’t have to beg you,
I could hunt this great land and do all the things men do.
But my vagina is not a gun, it is a mightier thing,
With a voice that rings true making lawmakers’ ears ring.
Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic,
So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic.
My vagina’s here to demand from the source,
Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force.”

But you really don’t get the full flavor, if you’ll pardon the term, unless you listen to it being read aloud:

Beautiful. I think I speak for everyone when I say that almost all of those couplets rhymed.

What would that be like, though? Can you imagine a world where vaginas were all replaced with guns? Let’s take a look!

Etc., etc.

The author of the original poem is @katieh1022 on Twitter. Be sure to tell her how much you liked it!

And now, in tribute:

If my penis was a shotgun
I’d clean it all the time
And tell those who ain’t got one
“It’s not much, but it’s mine”

(Hat tip: the irreplaceable Twitchy)

Update: I’m not even gonna try to top this. Just click the link.