TheDC investigates: What ever happened to Josh Hartnett?

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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The last time you probably thought about Josh Hartnett was when some basic cable channel decided it would be a good idea to show “Pearl Harbor” on repeat for like a month. But when is the last time you actually thought about Josh Harnett? (Probably not since 2003, which is the last time he was relevant.)

Luckily for you, we did some research to find out what that guy has been up to, because in the back of your mind you are actually really curious, even though you didn’t realize it until right now. (RELATED: What happened to Orlando Bloom?)

If you were a teenage girl in the late nineties to early aughts, there was a really high probability that you had a huge crush on Harnett, who was like a B-list Leonardo DiCaprio at the time. It turns out, all of the movies he was in were actually pretty bad (with one — maybe two — exceptions), and it’s really no wonder that his career fizzled out. (RELATED SLIDESHOW: What happened to the cast of ‘All That’?)

Hartnett, now 34, got his start in that terrible sequel to “Halloween,” 1998’s “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later.”

Then in 1999, he starred in one of Sofia Coppola’s only good films, “The Virgin Suicides.” (This could have gotten him some indie street cred, but it didn’t.)

His career peaked in 2001 by starring in Michael Bay’s awful attempt at a World War II movie, “Pearl Harbor,” as Ben Affleck’s best friend who starts doing Ben Affleck’s girlfriend after everyone thinks that Ben Affleck is dead. It turned out that Ben Affleck was never actually dead, so it was just really not a good situation for anyone involved.

After a small role in “Black Hawk Down” (the only objectively good movie on Hartnett’s roster), his acting career really started going downhill from there. In 2002, he starred in that terrible movie “40 Days and 40 Nights” where he played a dude who gives up masturbating for Lent, because that’s exactly like what Jesus went through.

Then, Hartnett was in that other terrible movie about a mysterious and grisly 1920s Hollywood murder, “Black Dahlia,” that could have been a good movie if only they had cast completely different actors and had an entirely different script. (RELATED SLIDESHOW: The cast of ‘Varsity Blues’: Where are they now?)

According to Josh Hartnett, Josh Harnett turned down the role of Superman several times back in 2004, “because it just wasn’t the kind of movie I wanted to do,” something that he is probably kicking himself over now.

Hartnett’s last memorable role was in 2006’s “Lucky Number Slevin,” a 2006 film that people who have never seen “The Godfather” say is their favorite movie.

After that, his filmography is full of movies that literally nobody has ever heard of.

Hartnett hasn’t been in a film since 2011, and only has two upcoming projects, one that has been in post-production since 2012 and another about “the story of three couples dealing with a reality-shaking event that threatens to tear them apart,” both of which sound super promising.

He has reportedly dated a random string of actresses and models, including the much older Helena Christensen and the much younger Amanda Seyfried, so at least he’s got that going for him.

So the answer to the question, “What ever happened to Josh Harnett?” is absolutely nothing. Poor Josh Hartnett.

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Taylor Bigler