Adam Levine has decided that he is cool with having sex with just one Victoria’s Secret model for the rest of his life.
After dating a string of lingerie models such as Anne Vyalitsyna and Nina Agdal, the Maroon 5 lead singer recently proposed to Namibian model Behati Prinsloo.
“You know, I am not getting any younger,” Levine probably thought to himself. “I’m 34 years old and I am not as popular as I once was. I have this shitty singing competition show on NBC, but I am only like the third most popular judge on the show,” he might have thought to himself.
“I just figured that it was time for me to settle down with one Victoria’s Secret model before the rest of them realize that I am a total douche,” Levine probably thought.
He might have continued, “Besides, Leonardo DiCaprio is still running the most competitive lingerie model game in Hollywood and I really don’t even compare to him. I figured it would be okay for me to choose just one twenty-something model to have sex with for the rest of my life.”
“To be honest, I am not even sure which one she is,” Levine perhaps muttered to himself. “All I know is that she’s really thin and has a big rack.”