Much ado about nothing, royal baby edition

Ariel Cohen Contributor
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As the world awaits the birth of the British royal baby, hundreds of reporters camped outside Saint Mary’s hospital in Paddington continue to say nothing breathlessly.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge went into labor around 6:00 am Monday morning, London time. Although her due date was July 17th, the baby took a bit longer to progress.

A official report said that her labor is “progressing as normal” and that a routine birth is expected.

“Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge has been admitted this morning to St. Mary’s Hospital, Paddington, London in the early stages of labour,” an official statement from Kensington Palace read. “The Duchess traveled by car from Kensington Palace to the Lindo Wing at St. Mary’s Hospital with The Duke of Cambridge.”

Because the Duchess sneaked into the hospital in the wee hours of the morning, only one journalist was able to capture a picture of her arrival. That was a big loss for those who have been camped outside the hospital for three weeks. NBC reporter Natalie Morales, for example, was photographed knitting little booties for the royal baby in the media pen opposite the hospital.

Extra police security arrived outside the hospital to ensure the safety of the large crowds. Some eyewitnesses estimate that at least four times as many well-wishers gathered outside the hospital for this birth in comparison to the crowds who gathered for Princess Diana’s births. Middleton is staying in the very same suite where Princess Diana delivered Prince William in 1982.

The Duchess will give birth in a posh private suite of the Lindo wing of the hospital, equipped with a satellite TV, radio, bedside phone, Internet access and a fridge. Middleton requested her own iPod and laptop in the delivery room. Although temperatures reached 99.3 degrees in London today, St. Mary’s hospital is air conditioned.

The royal couple has decided to wait to find out the sex of the royal baby. Regardless of whether the baby is a girl or boy, it will be third in line to the throne, after Prince Charles and Prince William.

Reports confirm that Queen Elizabeth’s personal gynecologist will preside over the birth. Up until today, most people did not realize, or wish to know, that the Queen has a personal gynecologist.

The birth will be announced on a wooden easel inside the Buckingham Palace gates, quickly followed by an online announcement.

After the birth of the child, Prince William will take two weeks paternity leave, as determined by the Ministry of Defense. Kate Middleton’s maternity leave is a personal matter, and she can determine on her own when she will return to he regular duchess duties.

A live stream has been set outside the hospital doors. Again, showing a whole lot of nothing.

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