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1.) The Obama Doctrine — It appears to have been written by The Onion. TheDC’s Neil Munro writes:
“President Barack Obama is considering a small-scale attack on Syria’s government, the White House spokesman said Thursday. ‘What we’re talking about here is something very discreet and limited. … We’re not talking about regime change here,’ deputy spokesman Josh Earnest said today. The statement suggested the administration is not considering a large-scale air or ground attack, any effort to replace Syrian dictator Bashar Assad, or a non-military response, such as diplomatic announcements, embargoes or partial sanctions. … Obama plans to hold ‘robust consultation’ with Congress, and Earnest hinted that Obama may deliver an address to the American public. ‘The president believes it is important to have a dialogue with the American public,’ he said.”
The Obama Doctrine begins with deriding your predecessor for acting unilaterally — even though he put together a coalition of four dozen countries for his military actions — before planning an operation where you actually act unilaterally. In fact, you act so unilaterally that even America’s top military ally, Great Britain, doesn’t participate. Then, you telegraph everything you are planning to do to the enemy through leaks. Finally, you get a senior administration official to tell the press something monumentally stupid, like, the president is trying to craft a military response “just muscular enough not to get mocked.” It appears to TheDC Morning that Hillary Clinton’s 2008 campaign ad didn’t quite get it right. It’s not just that President Obama appears unprepared for a 3 a.m. call. It seems he is unprepared for a 3 p.m. call as well.
2.) So you’re saying there’s a chance — So what about that immigration bill? Are we going to get something out of the House? Maybe. TheDC’s Neil Munro reports:
“There’s a fifty-fifty chance of a good immigration bill being signed by President Barack Obama, predicted Randy Johnson, a senior vice president at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. However, the House likely won’t grapple with the issue until October or November, he said. That’s yet another delay, because advocates had hoped to get a bill through the House before the August recess, or in September. The House’s time will be consumed in September by fights over the budget, the debt-ceiling and Obamacare, Johnson said. ‘The indication is that the [GOP leadership in] Congress feels fairly optimistic about a number of bills going forward and reaching the House floor … and matched up in in conference’ with the Senate bill, Johnson said Thursday.”
3.) It’s number 1 — Ladies and gentleman, the world’s greatest story. TheDC’s Taylor Bigler reports:
“The inventor of the giant foam finger, the preferred accessory of ice hockey fans, is not very happy with Miley Cyrus. Cyrus, who took advantage of a foam finger onstage during her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards by making it into a phallus, is being condemned by Steve Chmelar, the man who created the first giant foam finger in 1971. ‘She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it,’ Chmelar told FoxSports. ‘Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident.'”
Have you no sense of decency, ma’am, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency? When you’ve lost the creator of the foam finger, in the opinion of TheDC Morning, you’ve truly lost America.
4.) Food stamp bust –Not all employees at K & S convenience stores may be on the up-and-up. TheDC’s Caroline May reports:
“Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne announced the state’s largest undercover food stamp fraud bust and the arrests of three individuals involved on Thursday. K & S convenience store employees Kameel Sweiss, 51, Ameer Sweis, 22, Faday Sweiss, 33, were arrested Wednesday for allegedly illegally conducting an enterprise, fraudulent schemes and artifices, money laundering, unlawful use of food stamps and computer tampering. According to Horne, Wednesday morning SWAT units of the Phoenix Police Department entered the K & S convenience store to execute search warrants and seized $32,876 in cash, a key to a private bank vault holding $550,480 in cash, bank records, accounts, food stamp cards, business ledgers and three vehicles.”
6.) Today in North Korean News — BREAKING: “Dancing Parties Mark Youth Day”