DC Trawler

Why are lesbians so fat?

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Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. I’m not the one asking that: Science is. When Science talks, you shut your mouth and open your ears.

Unless you hate Science. Do you hate Science? Do you?

That’s better. Now. Elizabeth Harrington at the Washington Free Beacon reports:

The federal government has spent $2.2 million studying why three quarters of lesbians are obese despite sequestration-mandated budget cuts that critics warned could “delay progress in medical breakthroughs.”

The National Institutes of Health awarded an additional $682,873 to Brigham and Women’s Hospital for the study on July 17. The project had received previous grants of $778,622 in 2011, and $741,378 in 2012. Total funding has reached $2,202,873…

“It is now well-established that women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with nearly three-quarters of adult lesbians overweight or obese, compared to half of heterosexual women,” the project’s abstract states. “In stark contrast, among men, heterosexual males have nearly double the risk of obesity compared to gay males.”

I blogged about this back in March, when it was only costing taxpayers $1.5 million. Whew! Thank goodness this vitally important research is being allowed to continue, better-funded than ever, despite the evil Republicans who are all bigots.

Hey, I wonder if straight guys and lesbians are fatter because they drink more beer and eat more junk food than gay guys and straight women do? I think I just cracked the case. That’ll be $2.2 million, please.