The ‘Pooperator’ strikes again: someone is pooping on Yale students’ laundry

Robby Soave Reporter
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Not to be outdone by the disgusting living conditions reported at other, inferior universities, Yale University has now claimed the odious distinction of least livable dormitories.

They have “the pooperator” to thank.

A unknown, accursed vandal has been entering Yale laundry rooms and defecating into dryers and washing machines filled with clothes. Students do not discover the crime until they return to collect what should be clean clothes, and instead find their garments soiled with human feces.

The unimaginably gross crime has happened not once, but at least four times in the last month. All the incidents took place at Saybrook College, one of Yale’s residences.

The police are now involved, and students are quite reasonably panicking.

“I simultaneously wanted to throw up, cry and punch someone,” said Lucy Fleming, a Yale student and victim, in an interview with The Yale Daily News. Fleming’s clothes have been drenched in urine and excrement on two distinct occasions.

The campus newspaper reports that students have begun standing guard over their washing machines and dryers. No shirt or pair of socks is safe.

The Daily Caller reported previously that students at George Washington University were living in at least one dormitory that resembled the Third World. GWU’s Ivory Tower features rotting walls and ceilings, and feces-stained staircases. (RELATED: Students live in squalor at elite university)

The disgusting conditions at GWU seem to be born of neglect, rather than malicious psychopathy.

Students pay $36,000 for the privilege of attending Yale. Room and board costs an additional $13,000. TheDC hopes that students in Saybrook feel they are getting their money’s worth.

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