A private university in Malaysia is awarding an honorary degree to the world’s most scholarly insane dictator, North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un.
The degree is in the field of economics.
It’s easy to see why HELP University, a private institution in Kuala Lumpur, determined that Jong-Un deserved the degree. Under the dictator’s brilliant economic vision, North Korea has continued to languish as one of the poorest countries in the world–a veritable wasteland of non-productivity inhabited by millions of starving, miserable people. It’s lack of economic output rivals the most destitute African countries, and though the government funnels every dime it has into military development, its armed forces remain outdated and its nuclear ambitions an embarrassment. (RELATED: North Korea is your next luxury vacation destination)
University President Paul Chan Tuck Hoong did not immediately respond to a request for comment, but issued a statement saying the degree was intended to foster greater communication between Malaysia and North Korea.
Chan should sweeten the deal–by offering Jong-Un a degree in communications as well. The portly dictator maintains a public information website for his country that functions as a propaganda portal rife with easily disprovable “facts” about North Korea.
Still, it is important to establish relations with Jong-Un, said Chan.
“The conferment of an Honorary Doctorate to His Excellency President Kim Jong Un is building a bridge to reach the people,” he said in a statement–unaware that no one builds brides better than Jong-Un.
Whether HELP University will also confer a bridge-building degree upon the ingenious Jong-Un–who studied physics at a university named after his father, and military studies at a military university also named after his father–is currently unknown.
Jong-Un has already accepted the economics degree. When news of the honor reached the people of North Korea–who have survived decades of terror and poverty under Jong-Un and his father and grandfather–hundreds collapsed from an overwhelming sense of joy. Or hunger. Or possibly bullets.