Home for the Holidays Edition Part I
“HE POOPED IN MY LIVING ROOM.” — Marketplace radio reporter Lizzie O’Leary in a Thanksgiving tell-all. The dog’s name is Barney. At 3:04 p.m. he had moved from chewing on a frisbee and moved to “Aunt Lizzie’s” slipper. By 3:11 p.m. he had apparently defecated in the living room.
Joe Scarborough’s gratitude shower
“I’m so thankful for my parents, the faith they passed along to me, and this remarkable country I love. #ThanksBeToGod #Thanksgiving.” — MSNBC “Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarbrough.
Life is incredibly unfair
“A family is arguing with Waffle House waitress because they don’t want to pay for the food their child didn’t eat. Seriously.” — House GOP flack Ellen Carmichael and former flack to ex-presidential hopeful Herman Cain.
Editor learns how to cook from the NYT
“That no-baste dry-brine turkey recipe that’s been featured on @nytimes app for three weeks really WAS very easy, after all.” — Washington City Paper Editor Mike Madden.
And another learns about “dump” cake
“Y’all dump cake is some delicious ass nonsense with a hilarious name.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton. It’s actually not as viciously disgusting as it sounds. It’s canned fruit dumped into a baking pan with cake mix, nuts, and butter. Post-baking the alleged end result is something in the cobbler desert category.
Look at these cupcake pies!
“Cupcakes that look like pies. My awesome creation for Thanksgiving!” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.
Speaking of pies…
“Obama family had nine pies. Fourniers, one. But I had nine slices.” — National Journal’s serial tweeter and national correspondent Ron Fournier, who somehow managed to ruin Washington and Thanksgiving in one tweet.
And just in with some potential barfing humor…
“They’re serving chili to runners BEFORE this Parkersburg (WV) 5K. This seems like a bad idea. #TurkeyTrot” — Digital First Media‘s Interactives Director Mandy Jenkins, formerly of the now defunct TBD which was run into the ground with the help of Washington Post‘s Erik Wemple.
Whole Foods allegedly ruins a journo’s Thanksgiving
“Bought pre-cooked turkey from @WholeFoods – heated for 30 mins. Learned at 5 pm it was a raw turkey. Whole Foods ruined Thanksgiving.” — Bill McQuillen, ex-Bloomberg reporter who now works at JDAFrontline, where his bio considers him a journalist. He considers himself, however, a “reformed journalist” and gets irate if you call him a journalist (so psst….call him a journalist!).