DC Trawler

Our Dear Leader will be pleased by this latest offering from the Associated Press

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Things are looking bleaker every day for America. And, more importantly, for President Barack Obama. But he can always count on his cheerleaders in the press to brighten his day!

From Darlene Superville (which is where Clark Kent grew up, right?) at the Associated Press, here are “5 New Things About President Obama”:

  • HE SINGS IN THE BATHROOM
  • THIS PRESIDENT CAN COOK
  • BROKE HIS NOSE PLAYING BASKETBALL
  • WORLD TRAVELER
  • DAUGHTER HAS PEANUT ALLERGY

Read the whole thing, if you think that’s a good use of your rapidly dwindling life expectancy.

You have to admit, this list does indeed contain five items pertaining to Barack Obama. I’m sure Ms. Superville would’ve mentioned something about Obamacare, or Iran, or Benghazi, or the IRS, or the NSA, or any of his other stunning successes. But that would mean changing the headline, and it’d turn into this whole big thing.

Bravo, Mr. President! I can’t wait until you run for your third term. Sure, that’s against the Constitution, but since when has that stopped you?