What if Dennis Rodman has actually been trolling the world this entire time by taking trips to hang out with his best friend and murderer Kim Jong-Un in North Korea that are actually part of a CIA mission to gather intelligence about the Korean wasteland?
Why not? Weirder things have happened — although no examples immediately come to mind.
But if you were to ask the CIA whether or not Rodman is working for them, they would not be able to tell you yes or no. Muckrock.com, a site that helps journalists wade through Freedom of Information Act requests, sent two FOIA requests to the CIA requesting information “pertaining to any Central Intelligence Agency relationship to, or interest with, former NBA player Dennis Keith Rodman, aka ‘The Worm.'”
The CIA responded to the requests: “the CIA can neither confirm nor deny the existence or nonexistence of records responsive to your request.”
Only records that have been declassified by the CIA can be given out to the public. So if someone were to ask the CIA if Taylor Bigler has a relationship to, or interest with, the CIA, they would have to say that they can’t confirm or deny that, even though I am clearly not working for the CIA — OR AM I?
Basically, Rodman is either a) involved in highly classified CIA missions into North Korea or b) he is a drunken fool who has nothing but time and money on his hands.
Regardless of whether or not he is involved in any top-secret missions, Rodman is in rehab right now. Unless, of course, Rodman is going to rehab a la the way Carrie Matheson went to a mental hospital during season three of “Homeland” and it is all for show.
If so, well played, sir.