DC Trawler

Great news for comedy fans: Biden is running for president

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Well, he’s hemming and hawing about it, but for the purposes of brightening your mood on a Friday, let’s assume he’s serious about it.


Vice President Joe Biden joked this week that being able to drive his Corvette – is one good reason not to run. But, when asked to give another good reason not to run, Biden responded simply.

“I can’t.”

“There may be reasons I don’t run, but there’s no obvious reason for me why I think I should not run,” he said in the interview with Kate Bolduan on CNN’s “New Day.”

Being an abject imbecile who has no idea what he’s doing, is always wrong about everything, and will tell the most egregious lies imaginable to cover up his various fiascoes? That’s hardly a barrier to entry. After all, he’s a Democrat.

He likes to smile a lot, so he’d get to do that. And he could find whole new ways to offend huge swathes of the American populace with his excruciating racist buffoonery.

And of course, it’d give conservatives a great excuse to compare his dimwitted bumbling with alleged dummies like George Bush and Dan Quayle and Ronald Reagan. Remember, a gaffe is only a gaffe if Ezra and Ben and Co. decide it is!

Won’t it be great to see Joe and Hillary digging their arthritic claws into each other’s throats? You just know it’ll get ugly. Figuratively, as well.

Plus, most importantly: Despite everything we know about Joseph Robinette Biden after his decades of public service, despite all his clownish bumbling, he’d still make a better president than Barack [REDACTED] Obama.

Sad but true.