So this Maine bro was in the middle of the woods just untying his baby moose last month when the little guy hopped up and whooped him.
Turns out even calves get ticked when you Gitmo ’em blindfold and all.
“Oh, you’re a mean little girl!” the biologist exclaimed as the babe pounced him.
“No call being nasty! Now go on,” he said after receiving a thorough beating. “First time I ever got beat up by a baby moose.”
“Come on, sweet heart, go on,” he warned the moose, then obliviously guarding the loot she’d stolen from her former captor.
After a faux charge failed to sway his opponent, he lamented, “You wouldn’t believe I just got my butt kicked by a calf moose.”
Fortunately, our biologist friend has opposable thumbs and a frontal lobe, which he used to defeat his beastly quarry — routing her with the old heavy-stick-to-the-head move.
“They build ’em pretty tough in Maine,” our fearless narrator concludes.