A recent interview with the U.S. Air Force’s 18th Wing at Kadena Air Base in Japan reveals that fans aren’t the only ones preparing for the rebooted release of one of Hollywood’s most legendary and destructive monsters next week.
Smithsonian’s Air & Space magazine decided to go straight to the experts to find out how the sky-dominating branch of the U.S. military would deal with a real Godzilla threat.
As the many, many films have shown, the ancient, mutated, dragon-dinosaur-monster-whatever appears largely impervious to ordinary ordinance and conventional weapons, and has frequently been depicted swatting the likes of the Air Force out of the sky like flies.
That being the case, Senior Airman Mark Hermann and Master Sergeant Jason Edwards had some surprising elements incorporated into their strategies.
“We are quickly able to respond to any threat in the region… to include Godzilla, should he come to Japan. Which, I guess, is a thing,” Edwards said. “I think Godzilla would be expecting an aerial attack, so to catch him off guard, I think we could need 4,000 Segways and slingshots.”
When asked how many personnel and aircraft he thought they would need to mount an offensive, Hermann responded, “All of the F-15s we have here,” along with four fully loaded Cobra helicopters, complete with eight .50-caliber guns and 600 rounds of multi-purpose ammunition for each.
“At the very least,” Hermann laughed. “It’s gotta do something.”
WATCH: “GODZILLA: Hypothetical Defense Strategies”
When asked who they’d want backing them up, Hermann said, “Just some guys that I’d bring back here that I’ve worked with personally… crazy enough to do it.”
Edwards’s list was more elaborate, and included calling in real heavy hitters.
“Well I could go with Chuck Norris but that would be the obvious one. As I understand it the Power Rangers … probably a good choice in this type of scenario,” Edwards said. “Bruce Lee. The Incredible Hulk — the CG one, not the Lou Ferrigno one. Tom Brokaw, and George W. Bush.”
“Godzilla” roars into theaters Thursday May 15 for like, the 30th time.