DC Trawler

Sarah Palin Laughs At The Media’s Newfound Reticence About Political Candidates’ Medical Privacy

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Hey, remember that nutty rumor during Election ’08 about Sarah Palin faking her pregnancy? Remember how Andrew Sullivan made an even bigger fool of himself than usual, under the guise of “just asking questions”?

We’re not allowed to just ask questions anymore, you guys. Does Hillary Clinton have any health problems that might affect her performance as America’s First President without a Penis? She says she’s perfectly healthy. Why would she lie about something that important? Just drop it, you peasants.

Responding to the efforts of our media gatekeepers to shame us into shutting up about it, Sarah Palin notes how much has changed in the last six years:

Hey! Hillary’s brain is off-limits! Leave her health records alone! Democrats are right – scouring records of a female candidate is just politics of personal destruction, and for the media to engage in it would be unfair, unethical, and absolutely UNPRECEDENTED. You can’t probe a woman like that because, well, it’s a war on women! …

America, you deserve fair and consistent coverage of relevant issues before deciding a Presidential/Vice Presidential ticket, so have faith the agenda-less media will refuse to push whispers and wildly inaccurate information about a partisan politician’s body part. Goodness, no one credible would print lies, continually harass a candidate’s doctor, disrupt local hospital staff, or even offer to pay locals to give “quotes” about her health records to be included in a “research book” by a public university professor (your tax dollars at work?) which the candidate’s attorney will need to respond to…

Nope. This just doesn’t happen at this respectable level of American politics.

Just ask me. And Trig.

Yeah, but that was different. Sarah Palin is a Republican. Tina Fey hates her, and so do the lovely ladies of The View. What more do you need to know?

Hillary ’16!