Petition Circulates To Have Weird Al Yankovic Perform Super Bowl Halftime

Seth Richardson Contributor
Font Size:

Bruno Mars sucks. Madonna sucks. The Black Eyed Peas suck. What do all three have in common? They’ve played Super Bowl halftime shows.

There hasn’t been a good halftime show in years save for Beyoncé because Bey is life. The only one anybody remembers is when Janet Jackson showed her nipple. At least the Billboard Awards have Miguel jumping over people before kicking them in the face.

How can we fix that? By signing this petition to have Weird Al Yankovic play at halftime.

From the petition:

For decades Weird Al has entertained fans, young and old, with his popular clever parodies and unique sense of humor. Having him headline the Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show. would not only be overly accepted by the millions of views, but it would remain true to the standards and quality of the show business we have come to love and respect out of this prestigious event. The songs of artists that he is parodying could join him on stage to accompany, as well as other surprise appearances from well-known actors/actresses, adding more prestige and star power. The theatrics alone would be hilarious and a welcoming change, and draw a wider audience of fans that typically would not tune into the championship game or half-time show.

We’ve gotta make this happen. Weird Al also sucks, but he knows he sucks and would at least make a mockery of the halftime show. It’s already a joke anyway, might as well make it a real joke and hear “Eat It” and “Amish Paradise.” He can even do a polka medley if he wants. I don’t care. Everyone will be too drunk by then to actually pay attention and at least we won’t have to hear the once-awesome band The Who sound like a decrepit, old nursing home band on their last leg.

The petition already has more than 7,500 signatures. Let good ol’ Roger Goodell know what’s up and make the Super Bowl weird.

Follow Seth on Twitter