DC Trawler

Entitlement Mentality Officially Jumps The Shark Over Free U2 Download

Derek Hunter Contributor
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Just when you thought the entitlement mentality couldn’t get more pervasive and whinny — enter iPhone users.

When Apple announced the new iPhone 6 and Apple Watch they had U2 play the event. As an added bonus for customers, Apple then offered U2s new album, Songs of Innocence, for free to every iTunes user. Pretty cool, right?

You’d think, but you’d think wrong.

After 33 million of the 500 million iTunes users accessed the album FOR FREE, many others complained to Apple that they didn’t want it. That’s right, rather than simply open their iTunes and delete it themselves, they whined to Apple that these 11 free songs they didn’t have to pay for was cluttering up their device.

Apple, with what I hope were clenched teeth holding back obscenities that would make a veteran prostitute working Fleet Week blush, announced they’ve created a tool to help these self-entitled brats delete the unwanted songs they could have easily deleted already.

“There are songs by U2 on my iPhone I didn’t have to pay for and don’t want to have to click ‘delete’ on because I’m a spoiled, whiny, douchey, entitled prick! Won’t someone create a tool that will do it so I can burn the bare minimum of calories deleting it?” is not a “First World Problem,” it’s a “Half World Problem.” It’s a “.01 Percent World Problem.”

ISIS doesn’t have to attack us, we’ll destroy ourselves soon enough.

If you’re one of the oppressed millions who got something for free they didn’t want, something you could easily delete but just don’t want to risk throwing out your back or spontaneously combusting by deleting it normally, you can use the tool by clicking here. After that you should find a mirror and acquaint yourself the biggest loser to ever stand upright. Then punch yourself in the face. Repeatedly.