Ron Washington Is The Most Swinginest, Blow-Doingest Guy In Baseball

Seth Richardson Contributor
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Former Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington is a party animal. The guy recently resigned because of it.

What makes him a party animal, you ask? Only the fact that this 62-year-old guy felt the need to cheat on his wife of 42 years. What are you thinking, Ron?

“I made a mistake, and I am embarrassed,” Washington said in a press conference. “I was not true to my wife after 42 years. I broke her trust. I am here today to own that mistake.”

Why is he even making this statement? Just say you are resigning for personal reasons and be done with it. Keep the matter within your family.

Oh that’s right. It’s because everybody thought you were using blow again.

Maybe someone should tell him this isn’t the 1980s. The kids aren’t using cocaine anymore. It’s all about molly. Just ask Wes Welker. Say it’s Adderall all you want, Wes. We know you’re in the club with the kids. Now teach your new school ways to Old School Ronny.

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