DC Trawler

Obama Stops Ebola With His Magical Words

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Don’t worry, America. He’s got this.

Sept. 16, 2014:

Chances of an Ebola outbreak in America are extremely low. We’re taking measures. Effective surveillance methods are in place. Everybody’s prepared.

Whew!

P.S. Laying down a marker: In the extremely unlikely event that the above promises turn out to be empty as hell, the culprit will be insufficient government spending. And you will let Obama be clear that he has always said so.

(Hat tip: Jim Geraghty)