DC Trawler

Woman Barges Into Restaurant To Berate Patrons About Her ‘Little Girl,’ Who Is A Chicken

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Are you a speciesist? Do you even know what speciesism is and why it must be disrupted? If not, prepare to have your tiny little mind blown wide open.

Stop. Laughing.

Is a chicken any less of a human being than you are, just because she’s, y’know, a chicken? If you think so, then you deserve to be screamed at by a sobbing woman while you’re trying to eat your lunch. It’s not food, it’s violence! The two are mutually exclusive, of course.

The brave young lady responsible for this direct action (or whatever) calls herself Kelly Atlas, and she is not kidding around with this stuff:

I guess I really don’t know how to party.

No, seriously, she means it:

One must have a heart of stone to watch that without craving a Peanut Butter sandwich.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fix up a whole mess of bacon and eggs. As you’ve just seen, a lack of animal protein has a devastating effect on human cognition.

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Jim Treacher