Villainous Koch Brothers Give Grant For Better Lawyers For Poor People

Patrick Howley Political Reporter
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The dastardly duo of Charles and David Koch are at it again. What kind of evil shenanigans are the freedom-loving billionaire philanthropists pulling now? Brew yourself an organic tea, progressives, and prepare to be outraged.

Koch Industries has given a “major grant” to the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers to improve the effectiveness of public defenders and to provide scholarships and training for lawyers that can represent poor people charged with crimes like the kind of petty drug offenses that the Kochs have long tried to decriminalize.

Charles Koch said the grant was intended “to make the Sixth Amendment’s guarantee of an individual’s right to counsel a reality for all Americans, especially those who are the most disadvantaged in our society.”

Despicable. What a pair of goat-headed dirt merchants.

What are these scurrilous double-dealers really plotting with their latest gambit? Are they trying to help urban youth avoid jail so they can have more victims to discriminate against at the polling places with photo ID laws? Are they scheming to make it even easier for low-income teabaggers to use hate speech in private conversations without having to worry about getting the death penalty? Or, the most disgusting scenario: they’re just trying to make the criminal justice system more efficient in a baldfaced attempt to drive down wasteful government spending.

You just never know what these fork-tongued hate-pirates are going to pull next. Pretty soon, they’ll be giving more than a billion dollars to cancer research or supporting gay marriage.

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