Odds-Makers Doubt Johnny Manziel Will Succeed As Browns Starter

Christian Datoc Senior White House Correspondent
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All in all, it’s been a pretty good week for Johnny Manziel.

After Bryan Hoyer’s less-than-stellar performance on Sunday, Manziel — who turned 22 on Saturday — was officially named the Browns’ starting quarterback for their AFC North battle against the Cincinnati Bengals.

Would you honestly expect his cake to be anything else?

Despite his recent string of good luck, the odds-makers believe that Johnny Football has literally no shot of leading Cleveland to victory this week.

OK, so maybe not literally, but the odds are certainly not in his favor:

Odds Johnny Manziel starts the final three games of the year for the Browns: 1/3

Odds that the Browns make the playoffs …
with Hoyer starting the final three games: 24/1
with Manziel starting the final three games: 30/1

Odds Manziel throws for 300 or more yards against Cincinnati: 15/1

Odds that Manziel runs for 100 yards against Cincinnati: 30/1

Over/under on the number of turnovers (interceptions/fumbles) for Manziel against Cincinnati: 1.5
Over: 3/2 Under: 2/3

Over/under on the number of TDs (running/ passing) for Manziel against Cincinnati: 1.5
Over: 1/1 Under: 1/1

If Cleveland gets the ball trailing Cincinnati by eight points or fewer in the final two minutes of the game, odds that Manziel
Leads the Browns on a game winning/tying drive: 1/1
Throws an interception: 3/1

Over/under on the number of “show me the money” hand gestures Manziel will make against Cincinnati: 1.5
Over: 1/1 Under: 1/1

Odds the following Bengals make the “show me the money” gesture against the Browns
Any Bengals player: 1/3
Carlos Dunlap: 3/1
Adam Jones: 3/1
Geno Atkins: 5/1
Wallace Gilberry: 6/1
Reggie Nelson: 6/1
AJ Green: 10/1
Giovani Bernard: 20/1
Andy Dalton: 20/1

Don’t sweat it Johnny. The Browns’ offense has been absolutely anemic under your predecessor’s tenure. No matter how you play, things probably couldn’t get any worse.

My favorite part of this whole story is the last stat.

The odds of Andy Dalton throwing up Manziel’s trademark celebration after scoring a touchdown are only 20/1?

I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t mind seeing that.

In America, we love rock stars, but we love it even more when they’re publicly embarrassed.