Cam Newton Thinks He’s On God’s Fantasy Football Team [VIDEO]

Christian Datoc Senior White House Correspondent
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Cam Newton — the Carolina Panthers’ star quarterback — was involved in a serious car accident on Tuesday and walked away virtually unscathed, proving he is, in fact, Superman. (RELATED: CAM NEWTON HOSPITALIZED AFTER CAR ACCIDENT)

Newton was taken to the hospital after flipping his truck four times and hitting another car. He was eventually diagnosed with two transverse fractures in his back and held for additional observation.

After being released from the hospital on Thursday, Newton addressed the media and talked about how thankful he was to leave the scene in one piece.


Wait, what was that? You think you’re on GOD’s fantasy team? Somebody needs to recheck Cam for a concussion, because this guy is LOOPY.

I’m not saying Newton isn’t a great player because that would just be inaccurate, but I seriously doubt the big guy upstairs drafted the former Auburn Tiger onto his squad for two reasons.

1) It doesn’t take all seeing omnipotence to know that the Panthers’ depleted receiving core would be seriously detrimental to Newton’s fantasy output.

2) If God drafted a QB from the NFC South, it would obviously be Matt Ryan. How could he pass up a nice, Catholic boy spinning the pill to explosive weapons like Julio Jones, Roddy White & Devin Hester? (RELATED: DEVIN HESTER MAKES NFL HISTORY AS FALCONS EVISCERATE BUCS)

If by some miracle it turns out I’m wrong and God did in fact draft Newton, he should definitely bench him this week. Panthers head coach Ron Rivera announced that Derek Anderson would start on Sunday against Tampa Bay.