Vice President Joe Biden demonstrated that he is slipping deeper into senility this week when he gave a speech swearing that he once violently ambushed an unsuspecting kid who allegedly kicked his sister off of her bicycle.
The tale told by Biden bore a remarkable resemblance to a scene in “The Godfather,” in which Sonny Corleone pummels Carlo Rizzi for abusing Corleone’s pregnant sister, Connie.
The septuagenarian Vice President told the strangely familiar story on Wednesday night in New York City at an event held in his honor by a women’s rights charity called Vital Voices, reports The Daily Beast.
The event celebrated “men who combat violence against women.”
Biden regaled the audience with a brutal anecdote about his youth — when he was Joey Biden — that he insisted was totally true.
“I remember coming back from Mass on Sunday,” Biden explained, according to the Beast. “Always the big treat was, we’d stop at the donut shop.”
His father was waiting in the car, as was the custom, he said. On this occasion, Biden’s sister, Valerie, “tugged on” the future vice president’s arm and said, “‘That’s the boy who kicked me off my bicycle.'”
Once the family got home, Biden swore, he hopped on his bicycle and returned to the donut shop. The boy was still there, he said, “leaning down on one of those slanted counters.”
Next, Biden attested: “I walked up behind him and smashed his head next to the counter.”
But that’s not all. Oh, no.
“His father grabbed me, and I looked at his son and said, ‘If you ever touch my sister again, I’ll come back here again and I’ll kill your son.'”
Biden’s own father later allegedly told Joey he was proud of his son for the death threat.
Then Biden proudly accepted a “Voices of Solidarity” award from the charity outfit.
Obviously, Biden has seen “The Godfather” a few times.
In Francis Ford Coppola’s 1972 cinematic masterpiece, Sonny, Don Vito Corleone’s hothead, eldest son, becomes furious after he sees Connie with a bruised face.
After Connie tells Sonny that her husband, Carlo Rizzi, is responsible for the injuries, Sonny tracks Carlo down at Carlo’s bookmaking racket and beats the living hell out of him. Sonny throws a stick at his brother-in-law; tosses him over a railing; punches, kicks and knees him repeatedly; bites his knuckles; hits him with his own shoe; bangs his head with a trashcan and then a trashcan lid; then kicks him a few more times and leaves him in a puddle under an open fire hydrant.
Sonny departs with the promise that he will kill Carlo if Carlo ever hits Connie again. Ironically, Carlo later cuts a deal with Emilio Barzini, a Corleone family rival, to beat Connie again and assist in Sonny’s murder, on the causeway.
Viewers of “The Godfather” are never privy to Sonny’s father’s reaction to the mauling.
Biden likely remembers his talk with his sister and his heroic fight at the ice cream shop like this: