Ivy League Frat Totally Sorry For Including Beyonce Sex Doll In Christmas Photo

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The hyper-sensitivity about skin color that has engulfed fancypants college campuses all over America has now reached a state of glistening Platonic perfection at the University of Pennsylvania.

Members of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity chapter at Penn have profusely apologized after posting a group Christmas photo on Facebook on Sunday that included a blow-up sex doll, reports The Daily Pennsylvanian.

The doll, located beside the guy in the top left corner of the photo, has black “skin.” None of the members of the fraternity in the photo are black.

The doll ended up in the possession of Phi Delt members after the frat’s Secret Santa gift exchange. One of the fraternity brothers thoughtfully purchased what he hoped would be a Beyoncé sex doll for his intended Secret Santa recipient.

Reaction was fast and furious after the Phi Delt brothers posted the image on Facebook Sunday night.

By Sunday night, a coalition group called 5B that represents the numerous minority groups at Penn as well as the Penn Undergraduate Consortium for Women had called for the fraternity to suffer punishment.

In a whimpering apology to the offended coalition of minority groups signed by “The Brothers of Phi Delta Theta at the University of Pennsylvania,” the fraternity explained that the sex doll failed to resemble Beyoncé, the famous singer and actress, despite promises to the contrary from the manufacturer on the packaging.

Phi Delt members called the photo a “distasteful” joke in the email. They ritualistically flagellated themselves by saying that “the absence of racial motivation is no justification for this act of poor judgment,” according to the campus newspaper.

Administrators at the highfalutin school (endowment: $9.6 billion) is investigating this critically important Beyoncé sex doll.

The leadership of the international Phi Delta Theta organization is also probing and apologizing for the incident.

“We are deeply concerned by this image,” Phi Delta Theta spokesman Sean Wagner proclaimed in the statement obtained by The Daily Pennsylvanian. “Phi Delta Theta is a values-based organization and the lack of judgment associated with this image indicates a disconnect from those same values.”

All operations of the Penn Phi Delt chapter are suspended pending the outcome of these investigations. (It’s not clear who initiated the suspension.)

This story is not satire. Somehow.

Also, The Daily Caller briefly went shopping on the Internet for Beyoncé sex dolls to better gauge the market for such merchandise, but failed to find anything remotely printable.

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