If yer anythang like me, friends, in November 2016 yer-a fixin’ to hop in your trusty ol’ pickup truck, burn some rubber to the polls, and pull the lever for the only real candidate we’ve got: Hillary Rodham Clinton.
That’s why stories like this, from the hifalutin Wall Street Journal, really git my dander up:
Hillary Clinton Faces Uphill Fight for White, Rural Vote
White, working-class voters in eastern Arkansas for years backed Democratic candidates, among them Bill Clinton and outgoing Gov. Mike Beebe, but have moved sharply toward Republicans in recent elections.
Now, as the 2016 election takes shape, some of Hillary Clinton ’s allies are trumpeting her potential as a presidential candidate to bring these voters back to the Democratic Party and to run competitively in a handful of states, including Arkansas, that have spurned President Barack Obama.
But even here, where Mrs. Clinton was the state’s first lady, many voters say they view her with the same leeriness they do Mr. Obama and other national Democrats.
Oh, is that right, you fancy-pants, wine-sippin’ book-readers on Wall Street? (Wherever that is!) Well, the rest of us happen to know somethin’ you city slickers have long forgotten: Hillary Clinton is a real American.
Sing it, boys!
That’s right: Hillary Clinton doesn’t have a penis, she didn’t abort Chelsea, and she stayed with her husband even when his insane philandering became a national punchline.
So what if nobody can point to any of her accomplishments? Just point to her crotch. That’s what this is all about.
If we’ve learned one thing about putting a Clinton in the White House, it’s this…
Hillary 2016: No Penis, No Problem!