This ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Teddy Bear Is The Perfect Gift For Your Smutty Valentine

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The Vermont Teddy Bear Company has introduced a “‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Christian Grey Bear” just in time for Valentine’s Day shoppers who love kinky smut.

Obviously, the bigwigs at Vermont Teddy Bear in Shelburne, Vt. hope to capture that segment of the market hunting for a cute stuffed animal that evokes filthy sex, sadism, bondage and battery galore.

“It was to make sure we were proud of what we put out there, and I think we nailed it,” company CEO Bill Shouldice IV beamed in an interview with New England Cable News.

“It was to be fun,” he added. “It wasn’t to be inappropriate.”

He also noted that the teddy bear isn’t for the kiddos.

“Like anything, I don’t think this is a product for everybody,” the CEO told the station. “It’s a unique product, and it’s geared towards the adult.”

The cuddly, brutal bear is timed to coincide with the widely anticipated Feb. 13 Universal Pictures release of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie.

The stuff bear carries a mask and the most adorable little set of steel-looking handcuffs. It is dressed in a fancy gray suit, just like Christian Grey, one of the two main characters in “Fifty Shades.”

A local business professor, Allison Kingsley of the University of Vermont, predicted that the bad-boy bear will likely sell well.

“I don’t think it’s a high risk for them,” Kinglsey told NECN. “I bet they will sell more than they will lose because of this. They haven’t gone completely ‘triple-X-rated’ with their teddy bear, so if your child happened upon this teddy bear, they may think it’s the FBI, and not bondage.”

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company is planning to assemble 10,000 “‘FiftyShades of Grey’ Christian Grey Bears.” The retail price will be $89.99 each.

“Dominate Valentine’s Day” is the tagline.

The book “Fifty Shades of Grey” by British author E. L. James has been massively successful since it was released in 2011. It hit some bizarro, inexplicable cultural sweet spot and comes up in the news regularly.

The richly pornographic novel spent weeks upon weeks in Amazon’s top 100 books and, outrageously, still currently sits at No. 15 on Amazon’s list.

In the fall, researchers at Michigan State University announced that women between the ages of 18 and 24 who have read “Fifty Shades” are likely to enjoy a good binge-drinking session and have already racked up at least five sexual partners in their brief but exciting lifetimes. They are also more likely to suffer from eating disorders and have had boyfriends or husbands who have yelled at them or stalked them. (RELATED: SCIENCE: Reading ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ May Make You a Slutty Boozehound Who Dates Stalkers)

In 2013, Philadelphia high school teacher Philip Aidoo, who claimed to be blissfully unaware of the extreme sexual content of the bondage book, bought it for a freshman to read in class. (RELATED: Mom Wants Teacher Fired Just Because He Bought ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ For Ninth Grader)

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