DC Trawler

Pandas Are Violent Monsters And Must Be Destroyed

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I do not care for the panda. It is an evolutionary dead end that only eats bamboo and is too stupid to figure out how to reproduce. The sooner this scourge dies off, the better the planet will be.

It sure is cute when it’s play-fighting, though:

I hereby decree: These pandas may yet live. They will scurry about, clawing and biting each other for my amusement, until I grow weary of them.


I expect no gratitude from these vile, mindless creatures. But you will attend me now and praise my magnanimity. Begin.