The Mirror

White House Reporter Offers Readers Grand Tour Of The White House Shitter

Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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White House reporter Tommy Christopher‘s reporting is even crappier than usual.

And I mean that quite literally.

The reporter who usually focuses on race — he gave up watermelon for black people — took The Daily Banter readers on a video journey around the White House late last week. For whatever reason, he zoned in on two strange rooms with a toilet, urinal, sink and paper towel dispenser. (Better known as bathrooms.)

[RELATED: White Race Expert Tommy Christopher Has Long Banned Watermelon From His Diet]

There are a few really amazing details here. For one thing, his curiosity with the mousetrap on the tile floor of the shitter in the most famous house in America is astounding. And what’s a video about White House bathrooms without playing the noise that emerges when you waft your hands around an automatic paper towel dispenser?

(It’s complete shit, of course.)

“See this lock here?” asks Tommy in his smartest tone that in no way whatsoever resembles Walter Cronkite. “It used to have a line here that would show you if it was locked or not locked. But I bet there’s an interesting story behind that.”

No one can say Tommy (not his real name) is not an amazing bathroom tour guide. “I don’t know what that is, I think it must be some kind of mouse trap,” he says, zoning the camera down on the contraption.

More commentary: “Sink action there.”

The video even includes a This Town humblebrag: “I just got out of a meeting with a White House official,” he says.

Watch the insanity below.