DC Trawler

Hey, Everybody, Charlie Sheen Is A Republican

Charlie Sheen’s career seems to be indestructible. No matter what he does, enough people still like him that he keeps getting work. But now, he may have taken a step too far. He may not be able to come back from this one.

Alex Swoyer, Washington Times:

Actor Charlie Sheen says he considers himself a “constitutional Republican” and that he’d like to use his celebrity to run for president.

“When I say to people, ‘Hey what if I run for president?’ it’s 100 percent,” Mr. Sheen said in a segment of the comedy show ‘The Flipside,’ offering a platform that includes a flat tax of 10 percent and the placement of skilled veterans in front of schools to protect students…

“Everybody relax — that should be a rule,” Mr. Sheen said, adding that “It’s important to put the constitution back in place.”

His dad has forgiven him for everything he’s done so far. But this…

Charlie Sheen for president? Why not? This cat is pretty much immune to oppo research. There isn’t a nook or cranny of his catastrophic personal life and blighted psyche that we don’t know about already. Throw the most shameful debauchery imaginable in his face and he’ll just shrug and say, “Yeah, I did that. So what? Next stupid question.”

If a choom-smoking coke dealer can become President of the United States, why not this pharmaceutical superhero? Why not this modern-day Dionysus?

A chicken in every pot, a hooker in every hot tub, an ounce of blow on every glass coffee table. Sheen ’16!