Police brutality is a very serious problem. It’s so serious, in fact, that we should always believe an accusation even when there’s no evidence to back it up.
No, wait, that’s rape. Never mind. It’s okay to laugh at this criminal mastermind in an Oregon jail who claimed the cops beat him up. Check out his brilliant plan:
If you want something done right…
Instead of the Get Out of Jail Free card he wanted, this genius was charged with attempted coercion and filing a false report. That’s on top of the charges of stalking and first-degree sexual assault that put him there in the first place.
Let’s hope that the next time he needs a face full of bruises, he doesn’t have to do it himself.
[h/t Tina Nguyen]