A liberal arts college in Connecticut is making history by running a shared student residential house for members of fourteen different gender categories. And it sounds like a really angry idea.
Wesleyan University, which inspired the Daily Caller Cult Classic “PCU” starring Jeremy Piven and David Spade, offers young people the chance to live in a sexual “Open House” where they can learn about life and politics with other gender dissidents. Really. “Dissident” is the term they use.
“Open House is a safe space for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Flexual, Asexual, Genderfuck, Polyamourous, Bondage/Disciple, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism [LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM] communities and for people of sexually or gender dissident communities,” according to the Wesleyan website.
LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM? Look at the ordering of those letters closely. I’m surprised the FCC isn’t already blacking it out.
“The goals of Open House include generating interest in a celebration of queer life from the social to the political to the academic. Open House works to create a Wesleyan community that appreciates the variety and vivacity of gender, sex and sexuality.”
The house is located on Church Street.
A look at the different categories included here reveals potential for great conflict. Here are a few examples of drama that could go down:
Lesbians vs. Gays
Lesbians gave us used bookstores and sweeps-week television kisses. Gays gave us musical theater. Like peanut butter and chocolate, these things just seem better together. But that’s not true. Gays don’t like lesbians. Gays want to watch “Scandal” and “Glee” with straight chicks and go to raves until 3 in the morning. They don’t care about lacrosse. As Out magazine explains, “The truth is that so many partying gay men are focused on being with mirror images that they shun their Sapphic sisters, feeling no more connection with them than they do with anybody hetero.” This is Gay Studies 101, people.
Bisexuals vs. Flexuals
It seems like bisexuals would probably do well here, odds-wise (h/t Woody Allen). Until they meet their first flexual.
A “flexual” is “Sexually attracted to two or more genders,” according to urbandictionary.com. So that means they hook up with men, women and also transgender/transsexual folks. This sparks yet another conflict.
At some point, one of the bisexuals in the house is going to be talking to one of the flexuals. The bisexual will have to explain that he only hooks up with men and women, not transsexuals. The flexual, then, becomes morally superior in the progressive universe. “How transphobic of you,” the flexual will say to the bisexual, who now looks close-minded and bigoted by comparison. Who in the house can even compete with a flexual?
Transgender vs. Transsexual
“Transgender is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth,” according to GLAAD.
“A transsexual is a person in which the sex-related structures of the brain that define gender identity are exactly opposite the physical sex organs of the body,” according to transsexual.org.
Literature on the Internet makes clear that these things are different, and sometimes combative. Here’s one from ThinkProgress: “The Quiet Clash Between Transgender Women and Drag Queens.”
“Queer” vs. Polite Conversation
I thought this was a derogatory insult? The LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM movement is owning “Queer” now? As Buzzfeed reported, “Queer is what you make it.” As said one person quoted on the site, “Not apples and oranges, either. More like apples and a fruit salad.” So guys in Boston were using the appropriate word all this time? I don’t know, man. This one still doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
Asexual vs. Everybody Else
This is not the house for an asexual.
I’ll level with you here. Every possible word for gay sounds a whole lot better than “Genderfuck.” And I’m sure as Hell not googling that.
Dominance/Submission vs. Feminism
Isn’t “dominance/submission” just straight sex?
That’s a lot of weaponry in one house.
Conclusion: This idea is a very angry one.
What do these fourteen different groups actually have in common? The only thing that binds them together is “dissident” status. The house is defined completely by its opposition to the classic heterosexual standard. If you’re an 18-year old gay kid, how are you going to learn to feel normal and accepted in society if you barricade yourself in a house with other people — ranging from leather daddies to “Genderfucks” — who aren’t necessarily gay but are there because they also deviate from straightness.
But maybe the point isn’t to make these kids feel normal and accepted in society. Maybe the point is to remind them, daily, that they are victimized and marginalized by society. Maybe the point is to remind them that there’s no place for a gender “dissident” in the world of office basketball pools, Starbuck’s, and neighborhood bowling leagues. Maybe the point is for these “dissidents” to break away from everybody else. Maybe, as with so many progressive inventions, the point here really is to divide.