DC Trawler

Why Hasn’t Harry Reid Warned Us About The Dangers Of Exercise Bands?

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I’ve been skeptical of the various conspiracy theories floating around about Harry Reid’s little boo-boo. Yeah, it does seem weird that he hurt himself that badly with an exercise band. While working out in his bathroom. On New Year’s Eve. But hey, if that’s his story…

However, the indomitable Ace of Spades raises a question that I just can’t ignore:

I work out with exercise bands. I am in fact often afraid that they will either snap or, more likely, slip free of where they’re anchored, and hit me in the face…

But here’s why I don’t believe it in the case of Harry Reid:

Why isn’t he warning people about this being a real possibility? …

I’ll tell you what, if this happened to me, believe me, I’d be on the blog telling you about it, and warning you to be very careful with these bands…

I also would be telling you who manufactured these particular bands, so that you would be warned about possible slipshod manufacture.

But Reid hasn’t done that. And as far as I know, nobody in the intrepid Washington press corps has bothered to ask.

Ace likens it to Anthony Weiner getting “hacked.” Instead of doing what you’d expect such a public figure to do in a case of career-threatening identity theft — demanding an investigation, calling for justice, etc. — Weiner told everybody to move along. “Ehhh, never mind, everybody. So what, I got hacked. Guess we’ll never know who did it, huh? These things happen.”

That’s because it was a huge lie.

Harry Reid is hardly the type to suffer in silence. If he’s got a beef with somebody, you’re going to hear about it. I mean, he threw a fit over the endangerment of cowboy poetry.

So why isn’t he going after the manufacturer of the exercise band that robbed him of his damn eye? Why hasn’t he made that his pet project? Why hasn’t he used it to squeeze a few more tax dollars out of us?

“The United States government must protect us from harmful exercise bands. Just look what they did to me!”

Instead, a few months after his accident — or “accident”? — he announces he’s not running for reelection.

How about that.

Good thing he’s not a Republican, or people might start asking questions.