Unless you have the abs of ex-Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) or the stamina of Rep. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.), who went on a Survivor-like voyage to a remote island and survived, members of Congress are not known for healthy living. They subsist on buttery, cheesy hors d’oeuvres. Exercise is walking the tunnels of the Capitol to votes. Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), who eventually got his stomach stapled, was raised eating chicken fat sandwiches. House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) is a notorious chain smoker.
So now we’re supposed to get our dieting tips from 84-year-old Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.)?
Think Rangel and you envision a flabby, raspy-voiced New Yorker snoozing on a beach in Punta Cana, letting it all hang out. He failed to pay income taxes on that Dominican villa for 17 years and got in a mess of trouble that didn’t affect his re-election to Congress.
That was the vision, until now.
Rangel is out with a new e-book that’s sure to change lives. It’s smoothies galore with Rangel’s signature outrageous touch. Think kale. Hulled strawberries.
And hilarious dieting tips from a slimmed-down Rangel in the margins. (Please hear them reverberating in your brain in his signature New York accent.)
There’s Rangel, working a blender (the old school kind, please; not the Vitamix). There’s Rangel taking a spin class, as noted by the NYT in this morning’s First Draft.
His signature smoothie — Rangel’s Tropical Smoothie (no doubt this hails from the Dominican Republic) — consists of ice, a peeled, frozen, banana, hulled strawberries, pineapples and unsweetened ginger tea.
His tips are inspirational.
“Most days in Congress, I make a smoothie to get my extra serving of fruit. This is my signature smoothie,” he writes.
And this may be a favorite submitted to Rangel’s cookbook from Heidi Gough.
“Smoothies are rocking my world right now. I know I’m only like 20 years late to the party, but here I am and I’m making these from fruit, juice, no bananas — (except, um, the aforementioned signature Rangel smoothie with banana?) — no dairy, just masses of fruit. I took this with me on my drive to work the other day and it was like a zingy fruit bomb in my drinks holder as I was negotiating through the snow. It just made me feel so darn healthy! Three portions of fruit in one breakfast. Awesome. And it filled me up till lunch.”
Did Rangel employ Rolling Stone‘s editors for this book?
He says bananas and then this woman stresses no bananas?
Even his so-called “All-The-Time” smoothie has, ahem, the bright yellow-skinned fruit.
Mango (without skin and pit), a PEELED BANANA, two cups 1% milk, ice cubes and vanilla extract.
Long live the Rangel banana!
“Let’s get healthy, not heavy!” he says.
Correction/Update: The above quote from Heidi Gough was originally attributed to Rangel. The copy surrounding that quote has been changed.