DC Trawler

Hillary Clinton Should Join The Guardians Of The Galaxy, Because She’s Always Talking To Plants

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Let’s say you’re running for president and you want to appear to care about average, ordinary Americans. But you’re also an utter phony and you know it. You’re terrified that if you actually talk to any average, ordinary Americans, and there are microphones to capture it, you might humiliate yourself even more than you’ve done already. What to do?

That’s simple: Just bring in a few ringers!

Yep, it’s true. David Martosko, Daily Mail:

Hillary Clinton’s astroturf candidacy is in full swing in Iowa.

Her Tuesday morning visit to a coffee shop in LeClaire, Iowa was staged from beginning to end, according to Austin Bird, one of the men pictured sitting at the table with Mrs. Clinton.

Bird told Daily Mail Online that campaign staffer Troy Price called and asked him and two other young people to meet him Tuesday morning at a restaurant in Davenport, a nearby city.

Price then drove them to the coffee house to meet Clinton after vetting them for about a half-hour…

Bird himself is a frequent participant in Iowa Democratic Party events. He interned with President Obama’s 2012 presidential re-election campaign, and was tapped to chauffeur Vice President Joe Biden in October 2014 when he visited Davenport…

The other two, he confirmed, were University of Iowa College Democrats president Carter Bell and Planned Parenthood of the Heartland employee Sara Sedlacek.

Hillary Clinton can sit down and talk to just about anybody, as long as they’re hardcore Democrats who won’t embarrass her. She’s utterly spontaneous, as long as everything is rigidly controlled down to the last detail.

She did the same thing last time. She’ll do the same thing next time. It’s what she does, because it’s who she is.

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